To all my lovebugs out there today, I hope it was a wonderful day for you! Tomorrow morning I am headed to the WPPI Photography Conference in Las Vegas and will be gone until Friday. I will have access to email through my phone, but probably won’t be able to return some emails until I get back. Enjoy the whole Valentine’s Week while I’m away and I look forward to sharing some things I learn!
So, today I was stunned by a couple separating not even a year into their marriage. For some weird reason it hurt me for them. I don’t judge the situation - I barely know it. BUT, I do know that there needs to be more talk about marriage & what happens after the wedding. I mostly speak out of personal experience, which may or may not be the norm and from lots of other couples I’ve talked with. I think society has led us to believe that once the wedding is over, you live together & it’s so incredible. Incredibly incredible. I won’t even delve into what I romanticized. Here’s the reality - it is HARD. It is not easy & it can really hurt.
- You have to give up pieces of yourself to find a common ground with the other person. This will lead to all kinds of crazy fights and constant arguments. Suddenly this person is your problem, and reality hits hard. You WILL most definitely go through painful adjustments. For me, I lived life very well & got into whatever I wanted to get into as a single person. I got married in August & wanted a divorce by that October. BUT, we both agreed that the word “divorce” would not even be said. I think had we even considered it & even still if we considered it, it would happen. BUT, we have really been educated on one another through the growing pains. We know how to argue & get somewhere now. One of us has to submit to the other - constantly. And that is not fun, ok.
- Love is completely different from romance. You fall in & out of romance - not love. Typically the initial feeling of romance lasts two years, and then you really get to know one another from a different perspective.
Haven’t you ever been around someone in pain? Maybe someone close to you experienced loss or had a surgery that left them very vulnerable - these things bring us closer together & tight. Laughing together is great, I’m all for it - but pain & time really prove a relationship. Marriage is no different. There is reward in getting past the ugly parts of life together - the ewey goey feelings of love are not always involved. You don’t fall out of love just because you aren’t feeling happy emotions about the other person. Love bears all things.
I’ve been married for 5 years, which does not make me a guru by any means. But I know it’s not what I thought it was going to be. It’s not horrible, but who prepares us for it being so hard?! It IS great. It IS rewarding. But would I like to run away with the Cabana boy? YES!! But I’m not going to. That would ruin everything we’ve been working so hard for - it is work. It’s not “magical”. It is not a “dream come true”. Sorry.. I’m being real here. The person & all that makes that person you think about every waking second now is really going to be the person that you wonder who they are in 1-2 years. All the differences that make you unique to one another now are going to go head to head in combat later. It’s just life & that’s just marriage. Begin your marriage on a strong foundation.
I have often told my couples - right now, before the wedding, write down all of the wonderful qualities you find in your soon to be spouse. Write them ALL down & why you want to marry that person. Take those sheets of paper & lock them up in a box. When you come to that point in your marriage where it gets ugly (and it will get ugly) and you wonder why you ever married him or her, open the box together. There is NO other person on earth that is going to make your marriage any easier - stay with the one you love. Of course there are exceptions - abuse & such. When we say For Better or For Worse, ignore your emotions (these are only temporary!) & work on what you have in action. I believe in weddings and marriage - there is JOY!!! I wouldn’t do what I do otherwise - I am constantly reminded of the promise I made 5 years ago. Weddings can fool you though… the height of happiness & the dreaming of the future. Marriage is not effortless and a happy marriage has hit all kinds of tall bumps.
I believe marriage is more than just me & him. When we don’t make sense, we have to have faith in the promises.
Back to Top
Hi. My name is April and I am a computer addict.
It’s true.. I can’t stay away from emails, editing, etc.. BUT, I am finishing up 1 boudoir from last weekend & then I am outttttaaaaahhhh here! I am actually taking a vacation.. sort of. It’s one whole day away from kids, phone, email, internet, blackberry. So, you’ll have to wait 1 whole day before you get any communication back from me!! haha.. 1 full day with the hubster.. I can’t believe it’s finally happening. 
Time to get our massage on!! Helloooo spa!! While I’m gone, here’s one of my lovely ladies from this past Saturday.
So, this past Saturday I did a tremendous boudoir session - got there at 12:30pm & got home at 1:00am. 5 girls - 1 AMAZING makeup artist!! I did a big session like this back in September in Charlotte, and met up with Elizabeth Tolley... since then, I have pimped her out like crazy. There is no makeup artist on earth like her in my opinion!! She’s just so amazing & I am in awe of the things she does. It’s a big ‘ol lady crush, so I felt the need to just let you see how amazing she is!! She did all the hair & makeup for the ladies in the boudoir session, but also does amazing bridal makeup & hair… really, any kind of makeup & hair you can think of, she does it. For boudoirs, Elizabeth changes each girl’s look for each outfit - 3 times. So, I took a “before” shot of one of the ladies there and I just want you to see the different looks she pulled out for her!! I’ll post more Before & Afters later, but for now…
HOOOLLLLAAAHHHH!!! Isn’t she out of this world?!?!
If you need to get prettified for anything, here’s her website: http://www.ncmakeupartist.com
Back to Top
1 Comments